Learn More About What BDSM Means

Have you ever heard of BDSM ? According to Her Campus, BDSM is a diverse range of sexual activities, ranging from roleplaying, dominance and submissiveness, control, and other sexual behaviors. In recent years, BDSM has become a term for intimate activities that require mutual consent.

When this activity occurs, it's often called 'playtime.' BDSM is an abbreviation of four words: Bondage/Discipline, Dominance/Submission, Sadism, and Machosism. What do these four words mean?

Bondage/Discipline

Bondage, literally translated, means bondage or slavery. However, according to MensXP, in BDSM terms, bondage typically involves physical control for the sexual pleasure of both parties. While one party is bound with rope or restrained with handcuffs for sexual stimulation, the other party will use intimate tools to enhance their sexual pleasure. Even activities such as asphyxiation (impeding breathing) are included in this bondage practice. 
Discipline, on the other hand, isn't much different from bondage. Discipline in BDSM involves psychological control by offering punishments for things one partner shouldn't do to the other. The types of punishments vary, from physical punishments like spanking and whipping to psychological punishments like using demeaning words.

Dominance/Submission

In BDSM activities or relationships, there are two basic terms to understand: Dominance and Submission. Dominance is the dominant partner in the relationship. They are the ones who inflict pain, administer punishment, and control their partner's movements and psychology. Simply put, the Dominant (or "Dom") controls their submissive partner.

Submission, on the other hand, is the party who accepts the actions of the Dominant. They receive punishment and obey all orders given. The 'Sub' must submit to the 'Dom'. Neither the 'Dom' nor the 'Sub' is gender-specific. Therefore, women can be 'Doms' and men can be 'Subs' in their relationships.

Sadism

Sadism is the compulsion to see another person experience pain, which can be caused by many things. It can range from using demeaning words, spanking, whipping, choking, dripping wax on the skin, to excessive stimulation. The sadist will display the pain, and the recipient will experience sexual arousal by enjoying the pain.

Masochism

Masochism and sadism are not entirely opposite. In fact, there's even the term "Sadomasichism," a combination of the two terms. Both sadists and masochists share the urge to inflict pain on others. Besides receiving sexual stimulation, both sadists and masochists derive sexual arousal from observing their partner's painful reactions.

Tools Used in BDSM

There are several objects used in BDSM activities, ranging from simple ones like ropes to more complex ones that require installation, such as a frame to restrain the "sub."

1. Rope or string

One of the tools always present in BDSM is rope. This object is needed to restrain the sub's movements during the activity. The rope used can be rope. However, if you prefer something softer and less likely to leave marks on the skin, you can substitute cloth (such as a tie).

2. Borgol

In addition to rope, BDSM practitioners typically use handcuffs to restrict movement. These handcuffs are similar to those used by police. However, there are several types of handcuffs specifically designed for BDSM and that reduce the pain of metal, similar to handcuffs made of leather.

3. Choker or neck collar

In the world of BDSM, a choker or neck collar is an accessory that signifies ownership and submissiveness. This means that the person wearing the accessory is the sub, and they are owned by their partner, who acts as the Dom. Furthermore, some chokers and neck collars have chains or ropes that allow the Dom to direct or restrict the sub's movements.

4. Ball gag mouth

A ball gag is a ball with a strap that fits over the mouth. It is used to restrain speech and force the mouth to remain open.

5. Whip or flogger

Whips are also used in BDSM activities. They come in various forms, and it's usually the Dom who shows the whip to the Sub. The Dom doesn't always whip the Sub directly. Generally, whipping is a form of punishment for the Sub breaking the Dom's rules.

6. Intimate strap dress

This intimate garment is designed to restrict movement, making it often used in BDSM activities. There are also strap-on intimate garments designed to cause pain in vital areas, such as the breasts or vagina. Therefore, these garments are typically worn by subs.

7. Intimate toys

Intimate toys are also frequently involved in BDSM practices. These objects are used to provide extra stimulation to the sub, or in other contexts, to punish the sub (overstimulation). The types of intimate toys used can vary, from vibrators to butt plugs.

Pros and Cons of BDSM

According to Wikipedia, BDSM has existed since before Christ, from Mesopotamian rituals dedicated to the goddess Inanna to the more recent era. In fact, there are already BDSM communities comprised of people who enjoy and engage in BDSM activities from various perspectives, including Doms and Subs, tops and bottoms. However, it's undeniable that BDSM has its pros and cons over time.

BDSM is a sexual activity carried out with the proposal and agreement of both parties. In other words, the sub agrees to receive and obey the Dom, and the Dom will offer treatment to the sub. However, the activities carried out are based on mutual consent and have been discussed, including boundaries.

However, BDSM itself is considered a sexual disorder. Furthermore, those engaging in BDSM often suffer from mental disorders. One factor contributing to this view is the common perception that BDSM focuses on pain. However, health professionals and social observers still consider BDSM to be a health disorder if the activity goes beyond the reasonable control of one of the parties and involves violence that crosses the boundaries between the two parties.

Things to Know About BDSM

As mentioned in the previous paragraph, many consider BDSM to be a sexual disorder. This is because one partner derives sexual pleasure from inflicting pain on the other. However, BDSM isn't that shallow.

In the world of BDSM, there's a phrase called a "safe word." This word is generally decided by the sub and given to the Dom. When a BDSM activity exceeds the sub's acceptable boundaries, the sub will utter this safe word, and the Dom must obey it as a way of protecting and caring for their partner.

Regarding caring for and maintaining their partner, the Dom must provide aftercare to the Sub after intimate activities. This care can include treating wounds from rope ties, soothing redness and pain from whippings or blows, and even verbally expressing condolences if the BDSM activity involved verbally degrading the partner.

BDSM activities are essentially not carried out without the consent of the sub. Before engaging in BDSM activities, the Dom will ask about sexual boundaries, likes, and dislikes in BDSM. During such discussions, the sub is required to be as honest as possible, as this involves their safety.

Furthermore, BDSM practices, similar to spanking and whipping, are intended to provide sexual stimulation to the sub. This means that the pain can make them feel aroused. The Dom can also experience sexual arousal through these punishments. BDSM activities are thought to promote relaxation in the body. In fact, BDSM doesn't always involve sexual penetration.

That's a brief explanation of BDSM. What are your thoughts on this sexual activity?